Midweek Confessions

Yesterday, I ate like 15 mini cookies, except I'm pretty sure thy were only considered "mini" because they weren't cooked all the way and hadn't doubled in size like they were supposed to. Sometimes I just wish I didn't know that they were still worth the same amount of calories no matter how much they raised. Ignorance is bliss, especially with cookies.



I've lost most if not all motivation to blog lately, but it's not for lack of material or desire to write. I just can't make the time or focus my attention on it. It's a rut, but even as I type this, I can feel that it's probably not long lasting. Now that doesn't make any sense, does it?

We've been watching Portlandia here and there, and I gotta say, the scenes where the girl (main character) acts like a guy completely creep me out. So weird...she doesn't look manly and her voice is altered by a machine but it just sounds unnatural. Now the guy, on the other hand, doesn't creep me out at all when he acts like a girl. Is this sexist somehow? I'd like to think it's more the acting than anything. What a weird, but often funny, show.




And last but not least, I've been feeling "off" the last couple of days due to random headaches and fatigue. I'm assuming it's from all of the junk I've been eating, so of course, the easy solution is to cut that out and try to just eat healthy. Simple, obvious, okay, go, Sarah. Seriously, do it. Except that instead I've made dark chocolate pumpkin muffins, apple crisp (times two), eaten dark chocolate bars, and candy from a parade (not even good, just around and easy to grab). So there's that. I have high hopes for today, though. High hopes.




 



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Midweek Confessions

It's time for some confessions.

1. I've declared Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood educational TV in our house and now Josie's obsessed with it. I'm relieved because they aren't long episodes and she's not singing any of the songs (yet). Win/win. I am singing the songs though. So there's that.

2. I'm so stuck in the routine of having my morning coffee that even if it isn't particularly any good I still must drink the entire cup. Most days, it gets cold and somehow separates (cream, coffee, coffee beans parts?? gross) but I still drink it.

This is legit the mug I often drink from. It's pretty large which means more coffee for this lady.

3. Lately, my wake up alarm has been the two year old coming in asking various questions including "where's daddy?" (never mind that mommy doesn't even get a "good morning"), "Josie wants a booooook," and "Josie get Audrey up" (a personal favorite, please note the sarcasm). It's not pathetic at all that I can't seem to get up before my girls right? I mean I only woke up to an alarm for like 15 years of my life.

I'm surprised she doesn't walk in saying "feeeeeed meeeee nooowwww" since that's usually my primary purpose to her in the mornings.

4. Yesterday, that same sweet two year old was sitting on my lap and decided it was time to go potty on my lap. We ran to the bathroom but of course I was relatively soaked. We weren't at home, so she got to change into nice dry clothes from the prepared diaper bag while I got to stay in  my wet jeans. By the time we got home, they were dry and I never actually remembered to change clothes, so I sat in dirty potty pants for the rest of the day. Didn't even phase me. They are in the wash now, though, for the record.

Linking up! Click the image below for more confessions.

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Midweek Confessions

It's been a while...

1. I'm overdue by 6 days for this pregnancy. I feel like I'm at 39 weeks, which is confusing for this girl's brain. 

2. Our vacuum's home is in the hallway next to our bedroom. Why? Because I was sick of bringing it upstairs to vacuum the busiest carpet in our house - the rug in the living room. If only we had room to store it up here, it wouldn't have to clutter up my hallway. It's classy, I swear.

3. Josie's back to two naps a day because of daylight savings time and I LOVE IT. Sure, she's up earlier now in the morning but I can deal with that. No problemo.

4. I'm loving the cold weather way more than usual because I'm constantly overheated  being pregnant. My world will really be rocked when I'm no longer prego-hot and have to cart around two kids and a diaper bag in negative zero weather!

5. I don't actually believe my body knows how to have a baby without help. Therefore, I'm just assuming that I'll have numerous false alarms before Sunday when I am scheduled to be induced. Faith in myself? Well...not for this...

Happy Wednesday!

 


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Midweek Confessions

I've been watching Felicity on Netflix and I'm almost done. I'm going to probably have withdrawals. I remember now why I loved this show back when it was on! What in the world will I do with my free time when this show is done? Oh yeah, normal people stuff.


I've been on a sugar overload for a couple of weeks now and its time to get it together. Seriously this kid is going to be crazy crazy if I don't cut it out now.


Josie has been doing so many cute things (so cute!) and I haven't recorded any of it on video. I have the video camera at my feet right now... but I always hate how awkward it is when I turn it on and then nothing cute or exciting happens. It's just annoying... except nowadays I can edit that awkward part out so there is no reason for this nonsense. I won't regret it later, but I just can't seem to get myself to do it.


I haven't been working out at all. Add that in with the sugar problem and things are rough over here.


I think about blogging, what I should write about, a cute story here and there, but I'm been feeling uninspired lately. No real reason. I hope it changes because I miss it.


Happy Wednesday everyone!

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Midweek Confessions

After we all got struck with the infamous flu this week, I've lost all motivation to do anything. Instead of just admitting to being lazy, I'd prefer to just blame it on my lack of strength from avoiding foods for a day and half.


Josie was up at 6:00 today. I hit hubby (sweet of me, right?) to go get her and all he did was give her a bottle so she continued to talk and scream and jump and dance because what she had really wanted was her diaper changed. I may or may not have let her do this for a good 45 minutes before going in there. Once I go in, I never can get back out without a wide awake babe in my arms!


We haven't had a real homecooked meal yet since I've started staying at home. I've been surprisingly busy, but the real reason is because the thought of starting to cook every single night completely overwhelms me. Just making this week's menu had me throwing in the towel. I used to be good at this once upon a time.


I'm getting a pedi/mani today and I'm going all by myself. I'm not above some pampering even though I'll have to endure the awkward "should I make small talk with the poor girl touching my feet or should I just pretend I'm totally engrossed in this magazine" moments.


I bought and plan to wear a preggo swimsuit this weekend and really hope my bump is big enough so that others know I'm pregnant and not just an awkwardly shaped beer bellied lady. I'm so vain...


Link up!

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Midweek Confessions

I have been a terrible blog commenter lately and don't even really feel that bad about it. Partly because some of the blogs I read are ..bigger and cooler.. blogs than this little old blog so they don't usually respond and let's be honest. That is so discouraging!

I have sworn off coffee and pop but have had both this week. #Caffeinefail

My sister compared me to a spoiled bratty teenage girl because I use hashtags. I told her that all my cool (blogger) friends do it so it makes me cool too. #coolonlytomyself

I'm (sadly) relieved that Josie's hair has visibly grown because I was worried she'd look like a little boy with her new haircut (if I didn't put bows or ribbons in it). I think it just brings me back to the days when I legitimately looked like a boy (thanks mom) with the haircut AND clothing choices at times.

I found a tick on Buckley this morning (just crawling on him not attached yet THANK YOU GOD) and freaked out. I then proceeded to put on my big girl pants and remove it from him with Josie in one arm and her stuff in the other. Once removed, I had a mini freak out again because it got off of the clump of hair (sorry, Buck but its a small price to pay to not end up with lime decease) and got directly on me. I just imagine it disappearing from sight by crawling up and into my shirt. I really really really really hate ticks.

Happy Wednesday!









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Midweek Confessions

Confessions...

After reading E's confessions, one in particular was like "ding ding!" to me. Our yard is out of control. Neighborhood embarrassment? Yes, us. That is correct. We have a new patio that Mike did last fall, but we don't have nice matching furniture so instead we just have random chairs out there with big dirt holes and bobcat tracks. The flowers from last year are all scraggly and in place and since there isn't snow to cover them up, they are showing their true ugly self loud and proud.

When Mike is gone, I feel guilty doing anything but hanging out with Josie one on one with no TV or computer. She has other plans, however, and usually ignores me or crawls away from me when I try to join in the play. So then I just sit there watching and feeling ridiculous.

I got a mani/pedi this weekend and couldn't even enjoy it because there were older women there complaining about anything and everything. I tried to block it out but instead just got angry with them for wasting my wonderful afternoon opportunity. At least my nails look nice and shiny...

Another one when Mike is gone: I don't eat real meals. He made pancakes on Saturday for us and made extra for "his girls when he's gone" (sweet, right?). So that's what we ate. Pancakes and yogurt. I was perfectly happy and Josie doesn't know the difference. Hopefully I remember how to cook once he's back for a dinner time meal.

I may or may not be an Amazon.com addict.

I like Coldplay. I've tried to fight it, just like I did with Train, but I can't... their Britishness just wins me over every.single.time.

We're having a potluck at work today so I have already declared this day an official "cheat" day. Who wants to lose weight anyways??





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One last confession

I haven't been honest with you lately.

I quit Weight Watchers. I was fed up with the limited recipes and since I don't have the iPhone like everyone else on the planet, I don't have the accessibility to look each thing up. That's an excuse though. I work at a computer all day and can access one at home all the time. Really, I was too lazy to put the time in. I'm so sick of confessing how lazy I am - but it's the truth. Maybe I'll start saying busy instead. Better, right?

I'm using My Fitness Pal instead since it is free. Plus calorie information is on everything. Points are not. It is easier to follow, and it tells you how much you'll lose in 5 weeks if you keep it up. That is motivating, let me tell you.

But the bottom line with all of this is that it doesn't matter what App I'm using. It doesn't matter if I'm using it online or writing it down on paper (like I'd ever take the time to do that!). If I'm not truly committed, it won't do it for me.

I'm not truly committed.
It pains me to admit it.

I am committed only most of the time, and it's that small portion of time that blows it. That time when my will power disintegrates and all I can think about is immediate satisfaction.

The dumbest foods completely set me off. Tortilla chips. Fudgesicles. Chocolate Chips (true story - I would eat them by the handful if it's all that is around). It's bad.

I'm sure it's like an addiction, but I don't even want to go there because there are real addictions out there that are ruining people and who am I to say that this is even in the same ballpark? The truth is I am being busy lazy. I've developed habits that I'm not willing to break.

And that 10K that I'm supposed to be training for? I can come up with ever excuse in the book. My next attempt to be successful on the dreadmill (see what I did there?) is to listen to a book while running. I think I also just need to tell myself that the option is not available to stop. I know I can do it but mind over body is a lot easier to talk about than to actually apply and overcome.

Sick of hearing this stuff over and over again? I'm sorry; I forget to post the good things too. It's hard to remember to do that because those days with real successes seem to be few and far between. But I've done it before and I can do it again.

Midweek confessions

1. I get so annoyed when reading articles/blogs/stories with too many explanation points. In fact, sometimes I just have to quit reading it altogether to avoid my blood pressure rising. This may seem like an exaggeration because it is, but only slightly. Feel free to call me out when I get a little over excited with the !!!!! in the future.

This face is like four explanation points.

2. I also get really annoyed when commas are overused or in the wrong place in a sentence. I'm no grammar expert, but come on... we all had to take the basic English classes growing up. It just erks me. Erks... look it up. :) (Again, feel free to call me out, but not too often because I'm sure I do it too all the time and I can't handle that kind of criticism on a daily basis. I never call others out on it, it just is in my head every.single.time).

3. I don't feel like I've  had quality time with Josie since she's gotten this annoying cold. When she is awake, she is so determined to be active and on her own, and when she's getting tired, my efforts are all focused on getting her more comfortable for bed. I don't feel like we have any fun anymore! A small part of me gets scared that she won't even like me after this is all over (the cold, not her childhood) even though I know that is ridiculous.

How is me being a baby babushka not fun?

4. We've lived in our house two years now and we still have not decorated many of our walls. We have some large paintings that I inherited (and love to death) but its hard to decorate around large paintings. I would just leave them up alone without another thought if they took up enough of the wall space, but unfortunately they do not. It's just awkward.

Now that you mention it, you could really improve this place.

5. I have two pairs of shoes that I leave at work because I wear them often enough. I'm so lazy these days that I am basically only wearing those two pairs because I don't feel like carrying/wearing a different pair. So all of those shoes in my closet that I need to have? I still need them...just not using them... If you are wondering what those two shoes are, you are in luck. I will share. :) One is that nude heel I had talked about here and the other pair are the boring black shoes I mentioned here. Safe, reliable, totally me. Someday I might step out of the box but that someday is not today. It's too easy!

My kicks are better than yours.

Linking up with E... click below to read other confessions.

Midweek Confessions

I promised myself that I would sweep the floor (you know, now that Josie is crawling all over the place) and the only reason it got done is because I talked my hubby into doing it. I think we both knew it had to get done, and it wouldn't have gotten done if left up to  me. #completelyguilty

I'm rolling here... clean it up lady!

Lately Josie has really started to enjoy bath time and since she is such an independent player, I usually end up just fiddling around on my tablet the whole time. Its been kind of nice to just be able to chill out while she's playing though...it gives us both some "me" time. 

You don't want to see me when I'm stressed.

When I drive by older more unique houses, I always want to pull over and just inspect every single aspect of the house and property. The problem is that this is extremely creepy and not socially acceptable. But come on. If you live in a house like this, you should really just expect it.  

Family of creeps...

When I have a gym membership, I feel guilty exercising in any other way than at the gym. I will rarely run outside, bike or rollerblade for exercise, and even when I plan it out and go through with it, I just feel bad. Like I just threw money out the window and will never get it back. Usually I plan it out and then end up not running outside and not working out at the gym. Really that is way worse, but it always happens like this. Silly. 

Did you see her running outside? Me neither. She was just sitting on the couch right?

I haven't cleaned up Buckley's "messes" in the yard more than three times since we got him two years ago. Mike loves this. 

I love Buckley. I'll do it!

When I can't get Josie's attention, I start singing loudly with whatever I'm trying to say. I think she's just going to start associating singing loudly with instructions/commands. Great parenting... 

Oh no, she's singing again.

She really does get still and silent when someone is singing though. It's adorable.

Linking up with E! Check out her blog for more confessions.

Midweek Confessions

I love to read books and always declare that I don't have time. Truth? I do have time, but I spend it reading blogs and emails and checking facebook instead of reading the many books on my to do list.

True bible thumper

I read a biography about JFK this week and was surprisingly into it (ironic when you think about point number one isn't it?) but the reason this is a confession is because I really only read it to find out more about the scandalous life he was rumored to have and not so much about the politics. I do like history though; I just get sick of the war talk... even though yes I know it is a part of history blah blah blah

Nothing important happened before I was born. Don't forget that.

I get inspired about every other week to go to a thrift store, adopt a worn out piece of junk furniture, fix it up, and give it a place in our home. I have never actually done this. All of you creative bloggers out there just make it so tempting! Maybe someday when I have more time (ha like that will ever happen).

Did you hear that, Buck? She thinks she's creative

I wish it was still cool to wear lipstick. How nice would it be to just throw some lipstick on and call it good when trying to look presentable? Plus hot red is just so... classic.

Mom said I could wear her lipstick anytime...

I had like 6 diet cokes this weekend which is three times my normal consumption of diet coke... a week... isn't that so healthy of me? What is water again? If only you knew how gross our hard water is where I live. It's just. not. good. Sure, I can make it super cold and put some lemon in it, but every single glass? That would be so much work... diet coke is just so much easier.

This is me on diet coke. Jump jump jump jump jump jump...

Linking up... there are tons of other confessions to read!

Midweek Confessions

My favorite post of the week:

1. I'm fairly certain I'm going to gain weight this week and it is the first week of the weight loss challenge I'm in. Who does that?

2. I've been listening to the same album on repeat all day/week because I'm too lazy to add more options to my tablet. I'm not even sick of it yet so there ya go. She and Him is the best band and never gets old. But let's not push it. Don't you think at some point I'll get a teeny tiny bit sick of the same 12 or so songs?

3. I still have not been running, and I plan on doing a 10K in May. Have to have to have to have to start. I just have this stupid irrational fear about starting again.

4. I ate "out" three times yesterday. Yes, for every single meal. One meal was ordered in for lunch, one was left overs from the night before, and one was more food ordered in at a work meeting at night. Why am I gaining weight again?

5. I've been incredibly lazy all week. Laundry is piling up, dishes are in the sink (grossest thing to me) and the floors are screaming to be vacuumed. I actually hear them (the floors, that is) at work while I plan what I am not going to do when I get home.

6. I never go to cemeteries. How's that for random? I know that people get closure from visiting graves but I know that there is nothing there but a body. The people I love were not loved because of their bodies, so without the souls I just don't get anything out of it. I do however like to walk through them because they are beautiful, but this has to happen in the daylight. Very important that this only happens in the daylight.

Midweek confessions

1. I read on a blog somewhere that the proper way to say "I bid you ado" is with a-d-o instead of a-d-i-e-u. Suddenly I'm the expert and very judgemental when I see it used incorrectly. #whoamianyways??

2. When our routine is off at night and Josie is almost asleep, sometimes I'll purposefully skip steps like reading her a book or wrapping her in a blanket so she's "straightjacketed" or even just putting her in her pajamas. The funny part? It has never failed (never!) that I always end up starting the whole routine over again and spending at least 3 times the amount of time that I was so desperately trying to save. Seriously. When will I learn.

3. I get over-the-top disappointed when I find holes in my clothing. Like I just lost a friend forever kind of disappointed. Part of the reason is because my long torso and general body shape makes it hard to replace these clothing items, but part of it is just because I'm cheap and don't like to shop for clothes that I actually need. Its never fun to have to buy something. I like to just magically find something that wasn't a necessity. There is a difference in types of shopping here. I'd way rather just shop for something for our home or for Josie. Way. More. Fun.

4. I think everyone has certain...shall we say... hygiene... habits that others would judge and ultimately disapprove of. While I'm not ready to confess all of my little secrets, I will admit that I do make a habit of being completely inconsistent. One day I'll be freaking out using a strong cleaner about how disgusting everything is and how many germs must be everywhere, and another day I'll just wipe it up with a plain washcloth and call it good. I also will admit that I do the latter more often. Yikes. Nobody come check out my home for germs... you'd run away screaming. My philosophy is that it only makes us stronger. We are some strong people!

Midweek Confessions

Linking up for another Midweek Confessions...

I worked out again for the first time (in two weeks... aka forever) on Tuesday but it doesn't really count because it was just stretching. So today I worked out super hard but then ate like crap. I will never have a perfect day, but can't I just get a little closer than the complete other side?

 I bought these new dress pants that are like sweatpants in that they have no zipper or button... just elastic and some nice comfy stretch. Not the kind of stretch that just ends up looking sloppy though; it's the kind where I want to wear them every day and then just leave them on when I get home with a comfy sweatshirt and slippers. I recommend them. But seriously...sweatpants to work? Yes please always.

I have my heater cranked at work all the time. People walk in and immediately turn around and walk out because they feel like they can't breathe. Did I mention that my line of work is customer service so its not just me hanging out in there all day? Sorry...everyone... for keeping a nice hot sauna all day that makes me feel sleepy and content. I could just cover up and snooze in there. Dreamy.

I'm so desperate to get organized that I have like 35 apps/accounts/calendars/to do lists around me and its more work to keep them organized than it is to just take the steps to be organized. Pick one, lady. Nothing is helpful if they are all open with different options, schedules, and notes. Chaos I tell you. Overwhelming chaos.

Isn't she the cutest thing?  Even blurry, she's still pretty cute.

Christmas decorations are still up. I spent hours cleaning my house around them instead of just taking them down. Let's just hope it gets done before Valentine's day.

We are all halfway through the week! Love when we are over the hump.