Amelia Jane - One month old

It's hard to believe a whole month has gone by since Amelia was born. But then again, a lot has changed and been squeezed in since then. The first two weeks were a little rough. As I mentioned earlier, our biggest adjustment was with our oldest daughter. She really needed our consistency and nonverbal reassurance that we were still a family, mom and dad were still the same, her role in our family was still the same, etc. She tested us in as many ways as she could think of, and we pushed back with the same response and reaction as always. (consistency is so very important). Thankfully, after the first two weeks, we got into a decent routine and now it seems like that was so long ago. It's crazy how four weeks can feel so short and yet also feel so long. (For the record, the routine is with the older girls. Amelia is still all over the place with sleeping and eating.)

The first weekend was interesting. While we (baby and me) waited for my milk to come in, she basically stayed attached to me the whole time. She nursed and nursed and nursed, and when she wasn't nursing, she was sleeping. I couldn't put her down hardly at all and nobody else could hold her. Thankfully, once my milk came in, she completely transformed into a happy, full, content little baby. Suddenly, she was happy to be held by anyone and didn't mind sleeping in the bassinet or boppy pillow. I had a little bit of freedom! It was (and is) great.

Speaking of sleep, she still prefers to sleep on my chest. Mine is best, but she is happy on Daddy's too, at least most of the time. I don't mind having her sleep on me since I am all too aware of how quickly she will grow up. These days are fleeting and I adore having a sweet baby to cuddle as much as possible. Most of the time, if she is sleeping hard enough, I can put her down in the bassinet, on the boppy pillow, in the swing that we borrowed from a friend, or in the pack n play. I'm thankful she's so versatile. She also sleeps decent in the carseat if she falls asleep while we are moving. Otherwise, she hates the carseat. If I put her in there and then don't immediately pick it up and put her in the car or stroller, she lets me know. Girlfriend has quite the cry. She completely skipped over the newborn cry and can scream like the best of them.

Nursing has been going well. She latched on great right away, then got a little lazy and didn't latch on as aggressively. I got a few cracks and blisters which added to the initial pain of the first two weeks. I also had what my midwife called a strained milk duct, which felt like a pulled muscle every time she would nurse on the right side (so much better than mastitis, which I had with Audrey in the beginning). It has mostly gone away now, but that side still hurts a little bit when she first latches on. Thankfully, the pain is only for less than 10 seconds and then it's completely fine and pain free until the next time. She does nurse on both sides most of the time, and falls asleep in between sides which means I'm usually putting her down for ten minutes or so and then coming back to finish up when she realizes she's not full. That's really fun in the middle of the night. (Note the sarcasm.) No matter what I do to keep her awake or wake her up, she refused to be roused. When I was a first time mom, that would have really stressed me out, but now I'm aware how quickly time goes, and I don't mind so much being up a little more in the middle of the night. It could be worse.

She's waking up around 2:00 every morning and then is often up again at 4:30 or 5:00. Just the other day, she slept through that 2:00 feeding and woke up starving at 6:00. It was pretty amazing! I'd take every day in a heartbeat, but I have no hopes that it will happen again. At least not yet. She is such a louder sleeper with all of the grunting, though. I have a feeling that she will be in the nursery sooner than Audrey was (around five months old I believe) because I don't sleep very well when she's constantly wiggling and grunting while she sleeps.

Her sisters adore her. In particular, Josie gives her kisses all the time and is constantly at my side when I change her or get her dressed. I try to keep her involved by having her help with little things. She's usually happy to grab a burp cloth, throw away any garbage, grab a blanket, pull the vibrating toy attached to her carseat, sing to her if she's crying, and a bunch of other things. She knows to be gentle and doesn't try to pick her up or hold her. My biggest concern is that she will cover her up, thinking she's cold. We've had to talk a lot about why we can't put pillows on her head or blankets over her face. She's always being so gentle and loving but I don't trust her alone with Amelia. I mean, she's three. She gets a lot, but not everything. I haven't seen any signs of her being annoyed with Amelia. She will let me know when she's crying (as if I can't hear it) and has asked a couple of times to have me put her down so I could help her, but generally she loves her and wants her to be around. She also says "She's so cute!" and "I love Amelia/my baby sister!" at least once a day.

Audrey is happy to coexist with Amelia. She gets concerned if Amelia loses a sock or shoe, and will rush it over to me to put it back on. She will also give her kisses if prompted and once in a while on her own. She also hasn't shown any signs of annoyance or displeasure from having a baby sister. I thought she would be clingy or resentful that I couldn't always pick her up, but she has been totally fine with it. Besides, Daddy's the one she wants to pick her up, and he usually is in charge of the big girls when we are all together. It's been working well.

I think the hardest part so far has been not having a regular routine. She's way too young for that, so we are all kind of stuck working around when she's hungry or eating. I try to feed her before we go places or before we are doing something in particular, but it seems like she always gets hungry (starving!) right at the worst time. Example? Supper time. She can sleep and sleep all afternoon, but the second we sit down to eat, she has to eat too. How do babies know that everyone else is eating?? She will wake up from a deep slumber just angry right when I sit down at the table. So I've been scarfing down supper pretty quickly lately, which does help with portion control I guess. Other than that, it's been a relatively smooth transition.

Except nap time, but that's more the older girls than anything. Amelia is usually asleep during that crazy hour or so (getting them to sleep has become quite tedious and can take at least that long before I'm sure they are both asleep) or she's stuck hanging out with me while I sit with them uncomfortably in their rooms. Once in a while, she'll hang out in the swing with the music blaring.

Music! I may have mentioned this before, but she loves music. It has been a huge help for me when I am trying to get ready in the morning. If I put the music on and get the mobile spinning, I usually have enough time to take a quick shower and maybe even get fully dressed before she starts fussing. She really responds well to it. She also seems to enjoy being sung to much more than the other girls did. I so love how attentive she is to it.

She seems to focus in on us a lot more than the other two, too. When she has her wide awake time, she will really lock in on our faces and not look away for anything. I can't wait to see her smile in the next couple of weeks or so. I swear I can tell when she wants to, but she just hasn't connected that yet.

And a few comparison shots of all three girls. At this point, I think they all look so different. Amelia is the most "attentive" in that she was legitimately looking at the camera for most of the shots. She has way less hair but much clearer skin. I couldn't get it quite to scale, so she looks a little smaller here, but I assure you she is definitely bigger than Audrey was and about the same size as Josie was.

Man I love these girls!

She has her moments when we can't figure out what is wrong and the only thing that works is nursing or wrapping her tight and SHHHHing in her ear as loud as we can. Generally, though, if you change her diaper, wrap her up nice and warm, feed her, and hold her a little bit, she'll calm down and be happy. I'm so thankful for that. She won't take a pacifier, something I don't really want to accept, but we're working on that. (Yes, I was totally dependent on it with both Josie and Audrey. It's just nice to have something to soothe them that isn't a part of my body.) Amelia will suck on my pinky finger for hours if I let her, but the second a pacifier is in her mouth, she is gagging and acting like I tried to choke her. While it's humorous how she reacts, it's frustrating that she won't take it! I still want to try a few other kinds of pacifiers, but I wouldn't be surprised if she just doesn't end up being a pacifier baby. There are worse things.

All in all, she's been a sweet, content little baby girl.