All too familiar feeling

Sitting here, freshly showered and still a little shaky from my workout (yay! I actually worked out today.), I need this silence that is all around me. I have about a half hour before 1/3 of the kids wakes up from nap time and it will all begin again. It's been a grueling day, with accidents (always), toys thrown (not by me, don't worry), time outs, screaming in pillows in bedrooms (again, not by me), a rough therapy session, and no outdoor activity. We're feeling cooped up again, and it hasn't even been that long since we were outside.

I so want to enjoy every season that we are given. It's such a waste to pine after the nicer seasons and miss out on a third of the year. I don't want to live my life like that. Personally, as an adult, I've used this time in the past to focus on myself (start eating better, working out again, trying to read my bible regularly) and also have some "down time." Spring, Summer, and Fall are so busybusybusy that my body kind of craves it and just loves to sit inside with a book and a hot cup of coffee. But of course I also get sick of it. 

Now, my life doesn't look anything like that. I have three kids that feel that urge for more (exercise, fresh air, space to run around) and I can't give it to them right now. I'm doing what I can to keep us all sane but whew! it's exhausting. Every week, I look back and wonder if we just wasted another week to do something fun, learn something new, become better people. That time for myself? I don't get that anymore, no matter what time of year it is.

I need to start focusing on what we CAN DO this week no matter what the weather is like. There are a lot of activities that are done indoors, but my mind seems blank of them right now. It's hard to come up out of the fog of winter, isn't it? It just takes over every thought, attitude, and emotion. 

This weekend will be busy and I am so so so grateful for that. I need busy. I need activity and traveling and socializing. 

I had no plans to write all of this out, but apparently my fingers (and heart) ached for it.

Happy Friday, y'all.

(and maybe I'll clear off my camera memory card this weekend. Stay tuned...)