This day

Do you ever have days when you wake up and just don't feel like going through with the day? Where everything that happens is aggravating and nothing seems to go quite right? Today was one of those days. To be honest, I'm not that surprised that I had a day like this. When I skip quiet times and don't spend that crucial time in prayer,  my attitude suffers. When my attitude changes negatively, things are bound to go wrong or drive me crazy. It's my own fault, but I was still frustrated even knowing this. Resisting God is hard work! Why do I do it?? 

I had another midwife appointment today. She said I am 1 cm dilated and that the baby still needs to move down a bit more before she expects more progress. She said she fully expected to see me again next week and that I probably wouldn't go into labor this week. I was discouraged hearing this because it sounded oh so familiar (like Josie 16 months ago). She said that there are things I can do to help a little so I'll work on that this week, but I feel discouraged. On the way home from the hospital I just had to pray Lord, please let me remember that this is in your hands and you know the outcome already. If I'm praying against your will, it is doing no good. Help me to remember to pray for your will and not just for what I want. It's hard to remember to do that when I'm so consumed with my own ideas and visions for my life.

Josie was in a funk. I take 80% of the blame for this because I know that she reflects my mood and attitude the majority of the time, but today I really do believe that even if I would have been happy!crazy fun!cheery! mom she still would have been mischievous and ornery a little bit. She might be teething since she has the runny nose/eyes thing going on, but I don't see anything happening in her mouth right now. Hopefully that doesn't mean she will be going through this even longer because they aren't even showing. If it is teething I pray they come in soon! 

It was definitely a rude awakening for me. As I found myself stopping and redirecting her for the umpteenth time,  I realized that having another baby around will most likely bring out this side of Josie more often. She's going to get a little less attention and I won't be able to do exactly when she wants when she wants it. I hope that I have taught her some of this already, but it will still be an adjustment.

Hubby is working so hard right now. He had a busy schedule already and then another job thrown in on top with a crazy deadline. This is such a busy week already with Halloween activities and baby prep like crazy. He's working late trying to keep up and then he comes home and I have a million things I can't do right now even though I want to and not bother him (think bringing out garbage, painting walls, mowing the lawn etc).

Days like this remind me of why I need Jesus so desperately. It's not something to be taken lightly. The devil is constantly looking for opportunities to bring us down and today I sadly gave him way too many of those.

Tomorrow is a new day, and thankfully my sins are forgiven and I can start over. 

The weather today was wonderful and we got to enjoy it by going for a walk and playing a little at the park. Hope you all are having a fabulous week!


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