From 3/13/12

I've had a day to let it sink in. This is really happening.

The first time around, when I was pregnant with Josie, I prayed and hoped with all of my heart that I would love being pregnant. I so wished that I would look cute and not swell up when I was really showing. I wanted to be bubbly and fun and full of life so that people wouldn't just tip toe around me in order to not disturb the pregnant lady. Unfortunately, all of these not so great things describes my pregnancy 100%. I couldn't have been more uncomfortable (okay, I probably could have been, but it didn't feel that way then).

I was so swollen I could hardly walk after a day of working. Mind you, I was standing all day and wasn't able to walk around enough to get my blood moving so it just pooled in my feet and hands. I was uncomfortable so I ate sugary foods and enjoyed my comfort beverage of choice, diet coke. The combination of these two things just made me more swollen and uncomfortable. Hindsight is 20/20.

It was hard for me to imagine getting pregnant again. The delivery didn't scare me; it was the nine months (ten months, who are we kidding) that made me break out in a sweat.

Eight months have passed and a lot of those awful memories have faded away. I still remember the bad things, but I am going to work my hardest to prevent what is in my power. Things have changed since then. Some for the good, and some for the bad.

Let's start with the bad, just to get it over with. For starters, I didn't quite get back to my prepregnancy weight which wasn't an ideal weight to start with anyways. I'm already at a disadvantage. I also won't have the luxury of sitting down with my feet up for hours at night because of a certain baby living in my house that is just learning how to really get around.

But the good. The good does truly outweigh the bad. That baby living in my house? Every single moment with her is better than the moments without her. I forget how tired I am or how much there is to do. I love every minute I get with her giggles and games. The first time around, time went so slow. It felt like I was pregnant forever, but now I can already see how fast November is going to arrive. I feel frazzled and I'm only six weeks or so along!

Other good things: I now understand how important it is to work out right away from the beginning. The first time around, I had been working out steadily before getting pregnant, but the morning sickness knocked me off my feet and I didn't now how to jump back in it once it passed. I was also afraid of doing something that would cause me to miscarriage. Well now that I've been through it, I realize that there is so much more my body is able to do. Who am I to say that exercise could hurt the baby? Looking back, that could have made things so much easier and better.

And those sweets. The salty pop. The chips. All of you are gone. I have already started a solid pregnancy "diet". Don't worry, I'm not aiming to lose a ton of weight while pregnant. I know how stupid that is. But I do know something that is crucial this time around. With me being the weight I already am, I really don't need to gain anything. Not a single pound. I have plenty of fat/nutrients to share with this little baby and as long as I keep refilling myself with healthy fruits, veggies, healthy fat, and minimal (but necessary) carbs, I will have more energy, less swelling (please Lord please) and an easier time after. It's possible, but remind me of that again when I am dragging my feet while staring at a bag of Doritos, k?

So you see? Things will be so different. But the excitement, it's still there. I can't believe that next year at this time, I will be a mom to two. Josie will be a big sister.

I googled today what is essential to have for a family with two under two. The horror stories and nightmare scenarios popped up, but I calmly skipped them and looked for the good stuff. Double stroller (anyone have one they'd like to sell me?), another bed for either Josie or the baby since she will probably still be in a crib for a while after the baby is born (yes we can hope the new babe loves the bassinet!), a new dresser to make storage more efficient in that little room that is so close to us and not downstairs miles away.

So much to plan, so much to think about. And there is more, so much more. Some things I can't share yet but am practically dying inside to tell you. Soon, I hope.