What a ride (already)

Last week, I weighed myself and found out I have lost 8.2 lbs. Today, after eating not-so-good this weekend, (but not-so-bad either) I am up 3 lbs. I take that at face value and try not to be too discouraged, but then I have go and blow today, just eating junk, way more carbs than I usually do and not eating with intention. Of course I knew I would have a day like this and should be proud that it took this long (almost two weeks) for it to happen. I went from eating like that every single day to eating great for a solid 12 days. I felt mentally weak today, though, and it was frustrating. I'm going to focus on some positives, with hope that I can kick start good habits for the rest of the week.

I've been doing awesome getting exercise while outside. Every single day, I've gone for relatively long walks with the girls. I found an awesome deal on Craigslist for a Burley jogging stroller/bike trailer a little over a week ago. It pushes much easier than any other jogging stroller, even the single strollers, and both girls fit comfortably. I will say that it helps that Josie isn't too aggressive with Audrey since they aren't separated in there. I've been pleasantly surprised with how sweet she has been to her little sister, even giving her the pacifier (although sometimes upside down) when she is fussing. 

So back to the jogging. YES, I have actually done it! I've been feeling the urge to run, which happens often, especially when the weather is nice, but haven't had the right timing or courage to try it out. I've never ran any decent amount with my weight this high so I was rather nervous that I wouldn't be able to do it, but it truly is mind over body just like I remember from before. I probably ran 1.8 miles (out of the 2.15 I did total) alternating between walking and running with running definitely dominating. That stroller is so.easy.to.push it is just ridiculous. 

Today, I went again but waited until it was 88 degrees this afternoon (what was I thinking??). It was a bit too hot for this out of shape body to run steadily, but I did power through and walked over 2 miles burning just about the same number of calories. 

My body craves it and responds positively when I push it. Why can't I remember this when I'm at my lowest (mentally)? Unfortunately, what I do remember (when at my lowest) is how sore I am after a tough run. Although my body wants it, it's not really ready for it. 

Someday, I will have a strong, healthy body. Oh, how I can't wait for that day.

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A day for mama's.

Mother's Day. What a great day. 

I woke up bright and early to get ready for church. The girls were happy, we didn't have to rush out the door (as much as usual) and we easily made it on time.

After church, we had some down time while the girls napped. Hubby did a few errands, finished up some work, and I went to Kohls and got a pair of capri's (you know, since I'm not pregnant this summer unlike the last two). Later, we joined my MIL and FIL for a late lunch/early dinner. I felt ambitious afterwards, so I brought Audrey on a run (more on that later) before we headed to the park with the rest of my in-laws. To really make the day amazing, we went to get frozen yogurt at the nearby Cherry Berry right before bedtime. The girls were so sweet all day, and hubby just helped keep things going smoothly. I loved it.

**One thing that I often forget about is that Mother's Day can also be extremely painful for those that so desperately want to be mothers but are unable to be right now. My heart and prayers are with these women, and I don't ever want to seem insensitive.**

The bird is our gift to her for mother's day.

Scary daddy...

How cute is this??

 

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Josie Says

While preparing lunch, I overheard Josie's conversation to Audrey who was in the ExerSaucer. "Hi Audrey! See this? Do you see it? ABCs? Do you see this? Hi Audrey! Hiiii Auuuudrey! ABCDEFG! Want to color?"

I love her attempts to include Audrey in her big girl fun. 

Today, as she did the daily introductions, she started using our last name. "Josie Deyle (Die-dee)? Audrey Deyle! Mama Deyle? Daddy Deyle! Josie's shirt?" ... wha...?! so silly.

While reading a picture book to her:

Me: What's that? 
Josie: Strawberry Josie!
Me: What's that?
Josie: Carrot Josie.
Me: What's that?
Josie: Josie's egg!
Me: What's that?
Josie: ........Mama's...
Me: Is that bread? (a loaf, hard to tell)Josie: Josie's bread!

Everything, and I mean everything is Josie's these days. Even the pictures in the book. Unless she doesn't know what it is. Then mama can have it.

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Success, sickness, sister (the three s's?)

Excuse the bad quality phone pictures in this post, but I want to share things with you now and not take the time to make the pictures pretty.

Look at this food. No, look at it. I followed this recipe for the most part, but instead of putting it on rice, I put it in a pita. It was amazing. 

Guys, I've lost 8.2 lbs. !!! Isn't that awesome? It's only been a week, but my body has clearly been craving some healthy eating and exercise because I have not been feeling hungry (which is usually why I quit trying after just a day or two) and have been eager to stay on track every minute of the day. It's motivating to already be this far in, to already be noticing little changes in the way my clothes fit. What a good start to this journey.

Ok, enough of that, onto the girls and their updates.

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I allowed myself to be hopeful that we were done with being sick in this house, and then Josie developed a low fever. Today has been a low key day, and I'm feeling guilty about it. I want to be outside having fun in the nice weather, but she doesn't feel good and I'm feeling lazy (must be sympathy pains). We did go for a walk earlier, but it wasn't long and we need more exercise. I'll have to bring them to a park or something later. We've been doing that a lot.

They have been playing together more and more. They both just light up when they get to interact, smile, and "talk." 

Such a ham.

Last Saturday, I took the girls to Grand Forks to see my sister and go to the city garage sale. It was overwhelming but I did get a few things for the girls to wear this summer and next winter. After we were done with the stress of mass garage saling, we got some food and just sat. It felt good. Josie had both milk and water and played with them like they were friends. It was so cute. She was moving them back and forth and using silly voices to speak for them. We cracked up numerous times but she was too busy playing to notice.

This plate of food sat untouched while she worked extra hard on coloring her picture.

On one of our many walks, just a little too chilly to be bare headed.

 Like I said earlier, the park is our new best friend. I wrap Audrey in the moby wrap so I can walk around while Josie plays as hard as she can. She loves it. We haven't had anybody join us but there is plenty of time for that this summer. For now, just being outside has been glorious.

Look at this girl. I can't even.

And I painted her nails. She's so grown up now, don't you think? 

Trip to Florida: Flying with a baby

I found this post in my Drafts folder and thought it was still worth posting. We went to Florida in March and had Audrey with (Josie stayed home with her grandparents). 

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We missed our flight. Of all of the flights I've been on, I've never missed one. The worst part of it was that it was my own fault. I was over confident with how long it would take us to get checked in and through security, because every single time I've flown in the past we get through and then wait for a solid hour. I figured cutting off a half hour wouldn't make a huge deal. I didn't take into account that we passed our exit and spent 20 minutes getting back on track, parked farther away, needed to be shuttled to the airport, had to wait for a lady that wasn't paying attention at check-in, and then had to get to the other side of the airport after security.

Oh well! The day was long since the next flight to Jacksonville wasn't until 7:30 (opposed to our original 12:15 flight). We had anticipated that it would just be a travel day anyway so we had no plans that needed to be rescheduled once we arrived. We got to our hotel room around midnight and crashed hard.

This little adventure showed us once again how compatible we are together. I was stressed out when we were trying to get to the flight that we missed, but other than that, we stayed relaxed, went with the flow, and tried to enjoy the experience even though it wasn't ideal. Hubby told me that if he was doing it alone, he would have been freaking out since he hasn't ever had to deal with airlines, ticket booking, planning itineraries, etc. I would have also freaked out if I was alone since I hate when things are out of my hands (something I am going to have to work on for the rest of my life I'm sure).

Audrey was great considering the circumstances. She cooed and laughed, slept when needed, ate when needed, and won over a few people hanging around near us. The first flight was perfect. She ate right before we left and was asleep before we even got off the ground. I was worried about her ears not adjusting to the change in altitude, but she had her pacifier and it must have done the trick. She didn't wake up until 30 minutes after we had landed, so it gave us time to get situated in the Chicago airport before she needed our attention.

By the way, the Chicago airport is a zoo right around 4-7 pm. I've been there numerous times so it didn't phase me, but hubby was surprised by how busy it was on a Thursday. A lot less room to sit with a huge stroller (which was wonderful to have with regardless of it's size) and a lot more maneuvering between groups of people that were oblivious to people trying to get by. Again, we work well together so it didn't stress us out... one of the major keys to traveling is to go with the flow and not get hung up on the things you can't control.

For example? The second (longer) flight of the day was in the evening. Audrey's always fussy right around bed time and this was no exception. She fussed for a solid 20 minutes even with me doing everything I could think of to get her to sleep. I swaddled her, tried feeding her, sang to her, rocked her, bounced her, and still she just wasn't happy. Thankfully she did fall asleep and stayed asleep until we were off the plane, but my mama fears of annoying everyone around us were on high alert. Nobody complained and she was probably a lot quieter than we imagined since she was fussing more than all out crying, but I just didn't want to be "those people" with the screaming baby.

We looked at each other numerous times throughout the day and said "I'm so glad that Josie's not here." It isn't that we didn't miss her, because every time we saw a kid her age we both were immediately a little choked up (inside), but the idea of having to be in an airport all day with a runner like Josie was enough to be thankful for her staying with her grandparents instead of flying down with us. There will be many more trips for her to go on with us in the future.

We also both agreed that we most likely will not be flying with either of the kids again until they are old enough to sit and behave in a plane seat by themselves. Audrey is great now, but in a few months she'll be a lot more mobile and we're not that interested in flying with a super mobile baby any time soon. We will still go on vacations, but we have plenty of things within driving distance to check out.

Our return flights went better than we could have hoped. She slept through both flights and was only awake for about 10 minutes at the end of our last flight. We had an extremely short layover (20 minutes) before boarding the second and last flight, so there wasn't much time to sit around and burn off some of her energy, so we weren't expecting her to be so good during that long flight. Thankfully, she must have just been exhausted enough because she was out for almost the whole thing. I think the lull of the plane engines acted as a sound machine because she was sleeping hard. She didn't seem to mind the movement or change in elevation. Overall, I couldn't have asked for it to be better.







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It's about time

Let's talk weight loss.

It's a process. It's such a huge process.

Last Wednesday, I just... started. It was weird, because it was different. Isn't that ridiculous? It's the truth, though. Since I found out I was pregnant with Audrey last year, even before that, I was trying to stick to a certain number of calories and just make better eating choices. I failed every single day. It wasn't that there were bad days here or there, it was that every day was a bad day when it came to the choices I would make regarding food. And just like *that* I was able to do it. Every day since last Wednesday have been good days.

So what changed? Good question. Nothing specific, just my entire attitude. A week ago, I was overwhelmed with the thought of tracking every little thing I ate. I didn't know how I would track meals that involved fancy or complex recipes. I just didn't want to do it. I thought, "Maybe I can just do it myself without tracking." HA. Yeah right. Never ever ever in my life has that worked.

I found a few blogs filled with success stories. I've read a bunch of forums on MFP's website with more success stories and before/after pictures. Those things help. A LOT. But ultimately, it's about my attitude. Can I do this? Yes. But WILL I do this? That isn't something I can answer quite yet. I want to so badly. I've slowly put on weight since we got married. Actually, it hasn't been so slow. It's been quite fast since I've also had two pregnancies with huge weight gains. But I have dreams of being a strong, healthy woman. There is nothing stopping me but myself.

You know what? There is something else that is motivating me. I've given this problem to God. It seems like a trivial thing, this body image issue, being overweight, being a big eater, etc. The truth is that it isn't a small thing at all. It affects everything from my health, my ability to play with my kids, my marriage, and my confidence (sad, but true).

It's a huge release to know that I'm not doing it alone. When I find myself really struggling (because of course  that's happened already) I know that I can pray about it with an earnest heart. God doesn't think I'm being ridiculous or petty. He wants me to be successful in Him. It is a huge relief and comfort to know that.

Here are the numbers. I have about 1240 calories to eat each day. Most days, I go for a walk or do some kind of exercise that burns anywhere from 250-350 calories. I've actually found it hard to make up those calories! 1240 is a great number for me to work towards. I usually get three solid meals with a smaller snack (or two) and don't feel hungry. I don't eat a lot of carbs and do try to keep my protein intake higher. I'm not stupid when it comes to sweets either. I've tried cutting them out cold turkey and that has always ended with an epic fail, so I try to leave room for a sweet snack after dinner at night. Nothing fancy, just something to get me past the impulse to overeat. This week it has been dark chocolate dusted almonds. It's a perfect snack and I'm left satisfied for the day.

It helps that I am a creature of habit. I end up eating almost the exact same thing for breakfast every day (two eggs either hard boiled or fried with my mug of coffee and two tbs of creamer) and my lunch has been soup and salad with minimal variety. It works for me! That usually leaves me with a larger number left over for dinner, taking the pressure off to have a low calorie meal with an option for higher calorie foods for the hubby. He doesn't really need to be on my diet. I make a normal meal with carbs, meat, and veggies and just try to load up on the healthier foods. I don't deprive myself of the carbs though. Often times, that is the only point in the day that I eat starchy high carb foods. It's ok to eat it when I've planned for it.

All in all, with this new attitude, things have been going better. I had to guess at my starting weight because my scale was out of batteries, but hopefully I'll know soon if I have lost anything or not. I also took measurements and cannot wait to see movement there. I think that will mean more to me than a few pounds here and there.

It's going to be a long journey. I pray that my attitude can stay positive and that I don't get overwhelmed with  it, at least long term. I know there will be rough days, but those days give me opportunities to glorify God. If I can overcome them by relying on Him, it just makes this journey that much better.

Breakfast

A little favor

My sister has these friends, a married couple that are young (only 23) with a child of their own. They have it in their hearts (straight from God) to adopt not one but TWO little boys from overseas. It's a big mission that they are embarking on, and they need help getting their boys home. 

They have a giveaway going on right now on their blog with hopes to raise the rest of the money needed to complete the adoption and I'm asking you to please check it out. Just click on the picture above to check out their blog. Read their story, I think you'll agree after that it was worth it!





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The little things

I have a whole bunch of random pictures and a whole bunch of random thoughts!

How sweet is this?

I got it in my head yesterday that I need a double jogging stroller NOW. I tried to run with our current double stroller but it was awkward and clumsy. It's the kind where one kid is in front of the other which works perfectly when out and about in public (mall, fairs, public events) but not so great for the great outdoors.

Hubby said that unless I can find a used one, I should wait at least a month so that it isn't a hasty decision. Why does he always have to be right about stuff like this?

Girls, you may be mad about this later, but come on. This is cute.

I updated my MyFitnessPal page to personalize it and also added a ticker to the bottom of this little blog showing how I'm doing. I need some accountability yo. I had one good day (yesterday) and am feeling encouraged but also overwhelmed as that day was hard and I know that it is just the beginning. Add me @msdeyle if you want! I also made my food diary public because if I'm going for transparent, that's the only way to do it. Feel free to check out what I'm eating if you'd like. The good, the bad, the ugly, right?

First time using chalk. HUGE SUCCESS

Hubby's busy season is in full swing. He's already worked two 15-16 hour days this week and has no plans of slowing down. He told me earlier that he'd see me in August. Fun, huh? As always, I need to remember to thank him for his hard work because he does his very best to provide for us and I appreciate that sooo much.

Holding hands. Can you stand it?

As you may have seen yesterday, we've been going outside no matter what the weather throws in our face. On Monday, the weather was actually good and Josie got to play on playground a little bit while her sister slept in the stroller. It would have been all fun without any cares in the world except  that these older kids were throwing sand and attempting to trample her in their crazy playing ways. Any advice for how to keep that from happening? I didn't know if I should go all tough mama on them or if leaving and pretending I didn't see it was the best. BTW, no parents were in sight and there was a pond nearby that the kids were dangerously close to. I was a little nervous more than once, but thankfully by the time we left, they were not playing so close to the shore anymore. I was not in the mood to jump into a mostly frozen pond to save a kid that had just been throwing sand at my daughter.

After searching once again for the perfect shoes to wear as comfy/classy "mom" shoes, I ended up just buying another pair of TOMs, black this time. I couldn't be more predictable if I tried, but at least I know I'll be comfortable while still looking like "cool mom". The fact that I put that in quotes is probably already working against me.

Proof that we do still have our second daughter. She's always sleeping when the camera is out...

That's all for now. Here's to Spring, even though I'm not seeing or feeling it right now!



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Brr.

Whoa. Bet you weren't expecting to see this face so up close and personal today! 

I dragged took the girls on a walk today even though the temps were only around 35 degrees and the wind was chill-ay. I need to move, get some exercise, just be outside and I figured the girls wouldn't mind. Well they kind of did, but they are stuck with me as their mama so they dealt with it.

We survived. 

Have a nice day!