Weigh in day and 4/7

I've set up my weigh in days to be on Thursdays through Weight Watchers. In an effort to be held accountable by you, my lovely readers, I think it'd be worth briefly mentioning each week even if it isn't a change I'm particularly proud of. 

I started tracking my points on Monday, June 15th. I had weighed myself the day before that, so from Sunday to Thursday I was down 6.2 lbs. Before you get carried away thinking I'm overdoing it and need to slow down immediately, keep in mind that approximately three lbs of that was water weight and I did not get that starting weight in the morning right after I woke up like I usually do. I had weighed myself the night before a couple of hours after eating supper. I'm still counting it, though, as an extremely successful week. 

This morning, I got on the scale expecting to maintain. I was praying I wouldn't see a gain, but after this week of travelling, a few small but poor choices when I was home, and only one good day of exercise, I wouldn't have been too surprised to see the number go up. Thankfully, the number went down .8 lbs. I'm very happy with that. 

But... let's get to the more important part! Non-scale victories (NSVs). The number on the scale should not be taken too seriously. Sure, it's a great way to gauge how you are doing when you have a huge number of lbs to lose like myself. But sometimes what you expect based on how you ate and exercised is not adequately reflected on that stubborn scale. Sometimes, you have to look beyond it to feel victorious and see that you are still progressing.  KTJ over at KTJ Weighing In does a weekly link-up for these lovely NSVs and I'm excited to do them too! Seriously, NSVs can make or break it for me on this journey. I'm thankfully not that naive to rely only on the scale anymore.

1. There was a point this weekend where I just wanted a second helping. It didn't matter what the food was as long as I was eating something. When eating with a large group, it is normal and expected that you sit at the table after you are done eating for a while and be part of the general conversation. I love it, so I am not complaining about it in general, but it makes it hard to stop eating when the food is right in front of me. Having that restraint is a constant battle, as silly as it seems. Every single time I do manage to avoid overeating in that setting, it is a huge NSV.

2. I have virtually cut out snacking, or as I like to call it "grazing", throughout the day. While I still struggle with the pre-bedtime dessert or snack, during the day I have been great at eating enough to be satisfied at meals so that I don't feel like I need something in between. This is especially hard when the girls are napping. If we've had a particularly rough morning or early afternoon, it has become a bad habit to either eat a huge lunch then because I didn't have time to eat before then or eat a comfort food filled snack on the couch without a solid limit. This week, I didn't even feel that urge to snack. HUGE.

3. Emotionally eating is very much an addiction. Being able to say "no" when I am feeling that pull of needing comfort for whatever reason is huge. I didn't succeed every time, but I did succeed more often than not. The little things add up, yo! My small weight loss this week proves it (but even if it hadn't, it still would have been a NSV).

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I'm getting my inspiration to post every day from Jennifer over at Conversion Diary.There are a bunch of other bloggers linking up so feel free to read those too!



Want to leave a comment? Click on the title of this post and scroll to the bottom. You'll see the comment section there. Can't wait to read what you have to say!

Foster care update, lessons, confession, and 3/7

Scary thought of the day: I've started prepping for my little piano studio to start for the fall season. Fall season!! I have a new schedule and have started the process of setting up lesson times with my current students (how silly is it that my heart skips a little at the thought of seeing them again? Funny how one can love random children so so much.) and have even been contacted to start up lessons with a new student. This may seem like a no brainer, but I had no plans of adding more students and therefore more time each week to lessons this year since we are still licensed for foster care and that could happen any time. I worked semi-hard to get my name out there when I started giving lessons and got the number of students I wanted. Now that I'm not trying, I've had more than one person interested. Who knew? Word of mouth is great.

Speaking of foster care, we are in such a weird place of limbo right now. We have hardly had any calls for placements this summer, but the few we have had wouldn't work for us (too many kids that wouldn't have a bed here let alone room in our car, we're out of town when they call, etc). Now we're weeks away from moving so we don't feel right about bringing a scared child into our home that is in a chaotic upheaval. Am I being paranoid? Could a kid thrive in that environment? I just feel like it's too crazy for that. After we move, we have to have our license basically renewed or amended for our new home. There's a wee bit of pressure to get everything in place, knowing that a stranger is coming to judge if it's child-safe or not!

We've been "away" from the foster care world for a couple of months, and I have to admit, my heart doesn't feel as in it as it did when we were newly licensed, fresh off the classes, motivated and ready for any challenge. It would really rock our worlds to get a placement right now. I am in no way saying we wouldn't do it (after we move, not right this second), but it would definitely be a huge adjustment, mentally and physically. I really do wonder what God's plan is in this. Not knowing is good for us, but I have to watch myself to avoid getting anxious.

Because sometimes you just need a picture to brighten up a Wednesday morn'  post.

Confession. I threw a baby shower two weeks ago and haven't taken down the decorations. They were cute. Nothing too fancy but I loooved the pop of color with the balloons and our house is already crazy with the moving prep so who cares if there are a few balloons and banners on the walls? I may or may not look a little looney with it up all the time though...

 

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I'm getting my inspiration to post every day from Jennifer over at Conversion Diary.There are a bunch of other bloggers linking up so feel free to read those too!



Want to leave a comment? Click on the title of this post and scroll to the bottom. You'll see the comment section there. Can't wait to read what you have to say!

Loneliness and 2/7

As I sit down to write this post, my mind is blank yet racing all at the same time trying to think of something worthy of writing, recording, remembering. I tend to put a lot of pressure on myself in all kinds of areas. This little blog has managed to avoid my perfectionist nature for the most part and I desperately want to keep it that way. It's so easy to get caught up in numbers, stats, the desire to be "popular" or "liked." I don't write to impress people or make friends. I write because it is something I enjoy and it's the easiest way for me to get my thoughts out there, for myself and family. I write about the girls a lot, what I'm doing, what is important to me. Those things are great, but sometimes I just want to write. So today, I googled "writing prompts" and looked for something to inspire me. I found some here. 


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Today's Writing Prompt: Loneliness

Loneliness can happen anywhere, a crowded room or an empty one. How do you combat it? 

I'm not generally a lonely person. I like being around people, sure, but also enjoy having alone time. I've only experienced true loneliness a few times in my life. 

Growing up, I spent time alone happily playing quietly, reading books, doing homework, listening to music. I didn't mind being alone. As I grew up, I enjoyed spending time with my friends and became more and more social. Eventually, I had boyfriends that occupied my time, so I didn't have much time truly "alone" that wasn't consumed with school, work, friends, or family. When I went to college, I struggled to make friends along with everyone else. I didn't feel like I was in the right place, so I started the process of transferring back to my hometown community college to save money until I figured it out. I also ended a relationship that had been too serious, too intense, not in God's plan. That was the first time that I felt true loneliness. I was in between stages in my life, in between new friends and old, single for the first time in years, and moving back home after so many friends had moved on. It was painful but I grew more than I could have imagined. So many of my life lessons came from that period of my life. I look back at it with clear memories of different events and days, those memories stronger than other times in my life because of their impact. 

There are other forms of loneliness, though, that I experience off and on. Even though I am not alone in the literal sense, I still experience it. I spend most of my days with a newly talking two year old and eight month old baby that doesn't say more than "mamamama." My conversations revolve around bathroom talk, what to eat, the ABCs, and childhood books. My chatty husband works hard for long hours every day and is tired when he gets home. A lot of the time, I can be surrounded by strangers, acquaintances, even friends and other children and still feel that hint of loneliness. 

I can't say that this lonely feeling is necessarily a bad thing for me to feel and work through. These moments always bring me back to my creator, reminding me that I am never truly alone. I am reminded to enjoy the moments of true family time, enjoy the moments of baby and toddler days, enjoy the adult conversations I have that much more. I am reminded to be in the moment of interactions and conversations, to not take them for granted. I am reminded to enjoy being in my own company, to enjoy the quiet, to enjoy the stillness. 

Sometimes my heart does hurt. Sometimes I do feel that tug of want, to be around others, to feel outward love, to feel connected. Those moments pass and for that I am grateful. Sometimes, good does come out of feeling lonely. I just have to remember that when the moment is upon me.  

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I'm getting my inspiration to post every day from Jennifer over at Conversion Diary.There are a bunch of other bloggers linking up so feel free to read those too!



Want to leave a comment? Click on the title of this post and scroll to the bottom. You'll see the comment section there. Can't wait to read what you have to say!

Catch ups and 1/7.

Oh weekend, how I already miss you. We were out of town for four days, visiting friends a couple of hours away on Thursday and Friday and then joining hubby at his aunt's farm for the rest of the weekend. It's fun to get out of the house and out of town but honestly we need to be back just to get back on track sleep wise. Both girls were so tired last night from all the festivities and irregular sleep times that hubby and I practically threw them into their beds at the early hour of 7:00 PM. It was heavenly, having it so quiet in our house that early. We are all a lot happier this morning. 

This girl can EAT. It's amazing, the quantity she's taking in compared to her much bigger older sister. I'd say it's at least the same if not more.

I tried to eat smart this weekend, I really did. I would say I succeeded about 70% of the time, and I did the big no-no of weighing myself before Thursday (my official weigh in day) to see what the damage was. After I had eaten breakfast and was fully dressed, I was only up like half a pound. I was so relieved to see that I hadn't blown it. It's crazy how little faith I have in the basics, eating healthier, more calories burned than taken in, etc. Mentally, I make this huge deal about every little bite but compared to how I was eating prior to tracking, I'm doing amazing. Part of my mental freak-out this morning is based on knowing that I didn't track anything, and of course past experience only shows failure when I'm not tracking diligently. The bottom line here is that I'm relieved that I didn't blow it, but ready to be tracking 100% again. Follow that?

Really, this cap, make every day better.

 Despite my fear of the igniting the intense foot pain I've been experiencing, I went for a short run yesterday and made a few PRs which is always exciting. I ran a mile on the hills at the farm in 9:41 minutes, the fastest I've ever ran a mile. For real, how is that possible?? The fastest, on hills no less. Longer strides, knowing I would stop at the end of just one mile, and mentally pushing myself when I was feeling like it was too fast, that's how. We all know it isn't because I'm in the greatest shape ever! I walked the mile back to the house and did that in just 11:20 minutes which is faster than I often jog. I had a ton of energy from the first mile but didn't want to push my luck with my foot, so speed walking was the solution I guess. It felt good to move my body, especially since it'd been like 5 days since I'd gone for a legitimate run/walk.

I'm having a hard time finding other ways to work out, and by "finding" I mean "doing" because really, I know a bunch of other work outs but can never get the motivation to do them... running is the only thing that gets me moving right now.

My foot has been feeling better, so hopefully I can slowly increase my mileage again (you know, maybe doing more than one mile??) since this is the season for running outside. Plus, I actually want to do it and that's more than I can say for any other work out.

Both girls have somewhat of a cold, runny noses, sneezing constantly, and I'm really quite over it. Snot in the hair and crusty skin is not that sweet looking, even on little babes.

We're moving in three weeks! My oh my I am excited. Also, a little bit in denial. We have to pack up our house in that time? I get to write a huge check for closing costs? I get to do this all with two kids two and under while my hubby works as hard as he can to pay for all of these moving expenses? What? 

At Storybook Land, Josie really only loved the variety of horses, trains, and fire trucks. Oh, and also a pirate ship. Other than that, the charm of this place was lost on her.

Face off between Audrey and our hostess's puppy. The girls loved Emmy, the pup, but she was very enthusiastic and kind of overwhelmed them. Nonetheless, the couldn't stay away from her! Josie talked about Emmy constantly and was always looking for some "kisses".

Hubby shooting his gun that we got for his birthday. Finally. His birthday is in mid June.

I'm getting my inspiration to post every day from Jennifer over at Conversion Diary.There are a bunch of other bloggers linking up so feel free to read those too!

Want to leave a comment? Click on the title of this post and scroll to the bottom. You'll see the comment section there. Can't wait to read what you have to say!