The end is near

I'm in the thick of it. From this spot, being 39 weeks pregnant, I feel every ache and pain. I feel all the built up frustrations and anxiety. I am irritated easily, way too easily, and am probably driving those around me crazy.

I find myself annoyed that I'm hitting every red light every time I drive somewhere that has a deadline. I'm annoyed that my daughter is teething pretty heavily right now so our last week together just her and I is tainted by her mood swings (and mine). I'm annoyed that my house is cluttered all of the time and some of the time it's not my fault. Sometimes it's because someone wants me to have something that I have to store. It's just overwhelming. I didn't ask for it. Overwhelmed. I find myself going over and over in my head what else needs to be done, can be done, should be done before our little baby girl gets here. 

This time of waiting is so minute. I know this and have experienced it before, but it doesn't make it less real. Two weeks ago seems not so long ago, and one week ago is even less. Yet the idea of waiting a whole week more seems unbearable.

The funniest part? This pregnancy has been awesome. There have been little things here and there but I know just know that I will look back and say being pregnant was not so bad. This pregnancy was easy and great. Being in the thick of it, though, dealing with each struggle and muscle pain and irritation, it's hard to believe that truth.

We're ready for you baby girl! Come save us from ourselves (myself) before we drive each other crazy with the anticipation!



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This day

Do you ever have days when you wake up and just don't feel like going through with the day? Where everything that happens is aggravating and nothing seems to go quite right? Today was one of those days. To be honest, I'm not that surprised that I had a day like this. When I skip quiet times and don't spend that crucial time in prayer,  my attitude suffers. When my attitude changes negatively, things are bound to go wrong or drive me crazy. It's my own fault, but I was still frustrated even knowing this. Resisting God is hard work! Why do I do it?? 

I had another midwife appointment today. She said I am 1 cm dilated and that the baby still needs to move down a bit more before she expects more progress. She said she fully expected to see me again next week and that I probably wouldn't go into labor this week. I was discouraged hearing this because it sounded oh so familiar (like Josie 16 months ago). She said that there are things I can do to help a little so I'll work on that this week, but I feel discouraged. On the way home from the hospital I just had to pray Lord, please let me remember that this is in your hands and you know the outcome already. If I'm praying against your will, it is doing no good. Help me to remember to pray for your will and not just for what I want. It's hard to remember to do that when I'm so consumed with my own ideas and visions for my life.

Josie was in a funk. I take 80% of the blame for this because I know that she reflects my mood and attitude the majority of the time, but today I really do believe that even if I would have been happy!crazy fun!cheery! mom she still would have been mischievous and ornery a little bit. She might be teething since she has the runny nose/eyes thing going on, but I don't see anything happening in her mouth right now. Hopefully that doesn't mean she will be going through this even longer because they aren't even showing. If it is teething I pray they come in soon! 

It was definitely a rude awakening for me. As I found myself stopping and redirecting her for the umpteenth time,  I realized that having another baby around will most likely bring out this side of Josie more often. She's going to get a little less attention and I won't be able to do exactly when she wants when she wants it. I hope that I have taught her some of this already, but it will still be an adjustment.

Hubby is working so hard right now. He had a busy schedule already and then another job thrown in on top with a crazy deadline. This is such a busy week already with Halloween activities and baby prep like crazy. He's working late trying to keep up and then he comes home and I have a million things I can't do right now even though I want to and not bother him (think bringing out garbage, painting walls, mowing the lawn etc).

Days like this remind me of why I need Jesus so desperately. It's not something to be taken lightly. The devil is constantly looking for opportunities to bring us down and today I sadly gave him way too many of those.

Tomorrow is a new day, and thankfully my sins are forgiven and I can start over. 

The weather today was wonderful and we got to enjoy it by going for a walk and playing a little at the park. Hope you all are having a fabulous week!


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Auntie's the best

Just a little picture to show you this cute outfit we "threw together" today. Auntie for the win because she bought the shirt that has a puppy on it. Josie loves her some puppy.

We had these polka dot pants and I couldn't figure out what to put them with. Mixing patterns? LOVE IT. Only she could pull it off so well.

Happy Friday!

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Giving In

I'm usually pretty stubborn when it comes to going to the doctor for illnesses. You won't see me there for the flu or the average cold. I just always end up going too late into the cold when it is already going away and that's just a waste of money. For real. So I usually just tough it out.

This cold, though, keeps taking a turn for the ugly. It's continually getting worse when everyone around me is getting better. So today I sucked it up and got an appointment as soon as possible I mean I have a baby to deliver soon. I need my health!

Turns out I have a sinus infection. I've never had one before but that is why it's hanging on and evolving so much. My eyes are so puffy and in pain from the backed up sinuses and my throat. Oh my throat! It's so raw and sore I wish I could just soak it all day in hot tea. The doc said it should just take a couple of days before I start improving. Hallelujah! I plan to have a baby next week (ha - I'm not actually due until November 8th but a girl can dream right?) so I need to feel better pronto.

Then there is that little to do list that is conveniently longer than ever and not done. It's not that it's hard stuff that I need help with, or even that important of stuff to do, it's just that I want it done and don't have it in me to do anything but the basics at this point. So maybe Saturday. Maybe that will be the day when I get things done. Let's think on that positive note.

AND DID I TELL YOU? Hubby got me a massage as a late pregnancy gift! That is also Saturday. I CANNOT wait. It's going to be magical.



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