After the "honeymoon period" of the first couple of weeks, I got the flu (old news, I know) and seemed to feel better after a couple of days. But the truth was that I felt miserable. I was overwhelmed with the state of my house, felt outrun by my moving baby girl, and couldn't face the kitchen for meals and cooking. All I could think was "how am I going to do this every day?" It was such a dreadful feeling, and I felt like a failure.
But then the weekend came, we left town, had some great family time, and came back to settle into yet another routine week. This time? I thrived. Suddenly nothing was too much, I wanted to bake or cook, clean, chase the girly girl around. So what changed?
I didn't give myself time to recover. I forget sometimes that I'm pregnant and need a break sometimes. That just because I'm not over the toilet puking doesn't mean I at 100% and can do anything and everything. So after I allowed myself to rest guilt free over the weekend, I truly was able to enjoy my time and get it together in my life.
It's difficult to not be hard on myself with expectations and desires around the house. I forget that life happens and there are ups and downs.
Truth: I love staying at home and this is exactly where I am supposed to be. It's just hard to remember this when I'm not feeling good... maybe I should write this down and frame it somewhere so I won't be so hard on myself.
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